Are you bankrupt?
Lost the love or your life?
Had some closeone died on you?
Suffered a major injury or disease?
Life has no guarantees except nothing is permanent, there will be hard times and everything will change.
How to do resilient people cope when those things happen?
Well, resilient people tend to plan in advance for hard times. They know hard times are going to come personally and in life. They have trained for such times, learnt skills to get them through and put money away for such times – so they are prepared.
Resilient people do not take hard times personally and don’t play the victim. You will hear them say things like: “It could have happened to anyone”, “That was then and this is now” and “So what can I do now to get through this.”
They also do not live in the past or continually complain about what they might have lost. They accept life has changed and they must also change because what worked previously might not work now so they embraced adapting to the new situation.
What resilient people also do is they look for the opportunity in every situation. The physicist Steven Hawkins spent a large part of his life in a wheel chair as he became quadriplegic but during an interview, he once said it gave him a great deal of time to think, which is what a scientist needs to do.
You might think that there is no positive to your situation but life can be a continual opportunity to learn something new. It is a choice how you look at life even in your darkest hours. Whether you make that choice is up to you.
The next thing resilient people do is they don’t wait to be rescued. Many people who are facing difficult times wave their arms in the air and claim they have no power, its called the freeze response – resilient people do not do that or they snap out of it very quickly.
Sure, if they are injured, they may let health professionals look after them, when bankrupt seek friends to help them out or if they are attacked get help to get to safety. They proactively seek resources to build a new reality and don’t wait for other people to rescue them.
You may have experienced your worst horrors or nightmare. At the time you thought the world would end or your life was over but it is not – as long as you are breathing – as long as you can think you can chose what you think.
Many years ago, I worked in an AID’s hospice talking to people who were going to die. There was no effective treatment in those days and death was inevitable for most. Sometimes that death was extremely painful and humiliating.
What I learnt was that the small things can make the largest difference. So, for those people having someone to talk to who cared, a cream cake or ride down the seafront in a wheelchair was an absolute treat that made them feel worthy and excited. Those little things helped them die in peace with dignity.
So, if you are in hard times its time to train your brain to be a survivor no matter what your circumstances.
Dr Tracie O’Keefe DCH, BSc, ND is an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist, PACFA Registered Clinical Psychotherapist and Mental Health professional in the Australia. You can get help at her Sydney clinic, or by remote internet consultations with you wherever you are in the world.