Hypnotherapy to overcome disappointment helps you adjust to new circumstances fast. In life there will be many disappointments.
As a clinical hypnotherapist (AHA), psychotherapist and mental health professional (PACFA) (I see many people who are disappointed. This can be due to a recent event, or it can be with their lives.
From a naturopathic (ANPA) point of view it can affect your physical wellbeing and health.
You’re not alone as we all get disappointed at times by life. There are no exceptions because we’re all human beings.
Getting stuck in our ideas
One of the major assessments of good mental health is how you adapt when your circumstance and environment changes. And sometimes that happens without warning.
You fixate on your goals and that’s natural. To achieve something, you focus in your mind and expectations to achieve that certain thing.
It could be a relationship, step up in your career, living in a certain place or earning a certain amount of money.
And then it happens: the goal doesn’t happen, and you don’t change fast enough. Things go awfully wrong, and your dreams get shattered.
You become disappointed, angry and remain stuck fixating on those goals when the opportunity has passed. You may even become obsessed about that loss of opportunity (1).
Depression sets in
You’re so crestfallen by the inability to achieve that goal that you feel you’ve been robbed of that opportunity.
What you did is tell yourself you’ve achieved the goal before you did. There’s nothing wrong with that as it’s a way of manifesting your future inside your mind.
The problem is that we then begin to grieve and become depressed about what we never actually had (2).
This happened when so many people grieved their loss of wages and opportunity during the COVID lockdowns (2). We can get stuck in the lack of acceptance of the change and become depressed about an un-achieved benchmark.
We’ve all done it. We’ve all been there, feeling sorry for ourselves and wallowing in self-pity which deepens the depression.
Anger is not the answer
Sometimes you become angry at yourself and others. Inside your mind you put the blame for the loss on others. You may even attack other people and be unkind to them.
To preserve your own ego, sense of self, and dignity you refuse to accept that what you lost was never meant to be. You convinced yourself it was meant to be, but something really unfair happened to you.
Anger can go on for a long time, becoming a self-damaging mental and physical strategy. Other people can see what’s happening, but you’re so full of self-pity you’re blind to this self-abusive behaviour.
When people challenge you about this, you become defensive, lash out and tell them they don’t know how it is for you. And they don’t, but they have a better view of you than you have of you currently. You may even hold the anger inside you, and it makes you sick (3).
If you’re protesting that things aren’t fair all the time, then you’re refusing to accept reality and are in denial of the truth. You’ve become delusional. Denialism is dangerous because you’ve suspended reality testing which means you won’t know when you’re in danger (4).
Life will be very difficult for you because you’re so busy complaining that you’re not paying attention to upcoming opportunities. Also, you’re missing the blessings that are in your life now, whatever they may be for you.
Moving on from disappointment begins with you accepting that the goal didn’t work out, and that the universe had other plans for you, and it’s time to move on.
Emotional baggage
We all carry negative emotional baggage because that’s what human beings do (5). Sometimes you know you’re doing that consciously, and other times you don’t.
That emotional baggage is part of keeping you safe because it makes you reticent to go into a perceived possible dangerous future. It’s part of your defence mechanisms.
The problem is you can become attached to the emotional baggage even when you don’t know you are. This means you spend too much time being reticent to move on.
To be adaptable and get over your disappointment you’re meant to be continually renewing yourself and letting go of the outdated emotional baggage.
How hypnotherapy can help
In hypnosis that defence part in your conscious mind can move to one side while I talk to your unconscious mind.
Your unconscious mind is much bigger and smarter and wants to keep you safe. So, it’s possible during hypnotherapy to help the unconscious mind see the bigger picture and make cognitive, behavioural, and emotional adjustments to move forward.
Hypnotherapy is more comfortable and faster than cognitive behavioural therapy because it can bypass conscious resistance.
My goal is to help you activate a reset that enables your mind to begin again and move forward to the next part of your life.
You may even get health fund rebates.
Dr Tracie OKeefe DCH has decades of experience as a clinical hypnotherapist and psychotherapist. She has helped tens of thousands of people overcome life’s difficulties and go on to have a more vibrant life. You can see her in clinic or by Zoom from anywhere in the world. To make an appointment: Tel 0403 398 808.
References
(1) Jones, N., Papadakis, A., Orr, C., & Strauman, T. (2013, May 1). Cognitive Processes in Response to Goal Failure: A Study of Ruminative Thought and its Affective Consequences. J Soc Clin Psychol, 32(5). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3864849/
(2) Janus, S. A., King, S., Anderson, G. S., & et al. (2023). Impacts of the COVID-19 Pandemic on the Bereaved. Open Access Research Article. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10541373221151105
(3) Mill, A., Kööts-Ausmees, L., Allik, J., & Realo, A. (2018, February 9). The Role of Co-occurring Emotions and Personality Traits in Anger Expression. Psychol., 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00123
(4) Russell, G.C. (1993). The role of denial in clinical practice. J Adv Nurs, 18(6):938-40. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8320389/
(5) Følling, I., Solbjør, M.,& Helvik, A., (2015). Previous experiences and emotional baggage as barriers to lifestyle change – a qualitative study of Norwegian Healthy Life Centre participants. BMC Fam Pract., 16: 73. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4476174/
