One of the major defence mechanisms that we run in our unconscious minds is the avoidance of pain. That may be physical, mental, emotional, social or even economic pain.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do you fail to exercise sufficiently to be healthy and fit?
- Are you repeatedly making excuses for your behaviours?
- Does so much of life hurt your feelings?
- Do you avoid people because they are slightly difficult?
- Do you constantly put off arranging your finances?
- Do you regularly ask other people to accept your excuses?
In life we have to experience a certain amount of pain of various kinds because pain is a signal that we need to change direction and do something different.
If you are avoiding the necessary pains of life, you are not dealing with reality and if you do not deal with reality as it happens, you are unable to manoeuvre your way through life well.
Yes, there may be many reasons that you avoid those necessary pains, such as when you were once hurt, suffered a trauma, are unsure what to do or have a lack of confidence.
We must all pay attention to those pain signals, no matter how small or large they may be, so we need to welcome them as a source of information to help you decide how to go forward.
Perhaps you avoid exercise because you think you just do not have time. Who stole your time? People are not that stupid; we know when we are making excuses.
If you live on an emotional roller coaster, get help to control your emotions. Be nice to as many people as you can and also set good boundaries so that people respect you. Deal with your finances immediately they arise and live within your means. Do not expect others to compensate for things you are avoiding in life.
Let be honest – it’s your life and you have the responsibility to make it happen well for you. No one else has the investment in your life that you do. You have all the facts so you can work out what may be the best outcome of any circumstances.
Some tips on getting organised to live a happy and healthy life
1. Do not be the excuse person who constantly tells people the cat did it when you do not have a cat. Be honest about your circumstances and if you mess up, tell people the truth.
2. Be someone who deals with situations as soon as they arise and do not put off to tomorrow what needs attention today.
3. Have a list of things you need to attend to every day and prioritise the most important things that you need to pay attention to first.
4. As you complete those tasks, tick them off your list and try to complete as much of those tasks yourself as you can as soon as possible.
5. Ask for help from trusted people if the tasks are beyond your abilities and if they give you their opinions, carefully consider their points of view as they may be able to see things you cannot.
6. Invest time, effort and money in improving and maintaining your physical and mental health and behaviours every day of your life. Remember, healthy happy people are always on a journey of self-improvement.