Many people have commitment issues. Are you one of them?
Well, it all comes down to whether your actions match your words. It’s so easy to say ‘I will love you forever’ in the early stages of a relationship when lust and romanticism are high.
You’re hot to trot and the only person that gets your attention is your latest crush.
We all get caught up in those heady rushes and you often say things that you can’t or won’t back up in the long run but you say them without thinking them through.
In the cold light of day, when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of building a sustainable relationship, you might have said more than you can deliver.
Someone believed you, then they got hurt.
You’re a bit of Peter Pan and never grow up or a Cinderella and think the magic fairy will fix things.
You might be someone who has cut yourself off emotionally and is not available: so, sex, partying and for now is available, but you’re always ready to jump to the next person you find.
You know you’re a player but you just don’t care as you’re blind to other people’s emotions and you will dump them if you think a better offer is in on the table.
You’re a Casanova or the girl with 20 boyfriends.
Maybe you’re scared, avoid getting in too deep or bolt at the first sign that everything in a relationship is not just singing and dancing.
You don’t have a clue how to communicate and work things out.
The thing is, though, that the people you get involved with may have expectations of more than what you provide and you neglected to screen for that.
Maybe you’re not paying attention or genuinely don’t care what the other person may be hoping for as long as you are having a good time.
Relationships, however, are never straightforward as they have good times, bad patches, ups and downs, but someone who is committed to making the relationship work will stay in there and do their part to communicate and facilitate the other person’s needs.
You become who you train yourself to be
If you get married and have children you have to step up whole new level with regards to commitment.
You owe those little hands and feet a whole heap of responsibility to help them through their journey in life.
If you commit to a relationship and build a life with someone, each person relies on what you build together. When you suddenly withdraw that support it can crash the other person’s life.
We are all human and we all mess up.
We all date people who were not right for us and have to move on.
That’s life but if you are committed to your relationship and family, you will, as a mature adult, step up to do whatever needs to be done to ensure they believe you are committed to their wellbeing.
Honestly ask yourself this:
“Am I someone who the people I say I am committed to will remember as kind, compassionate, loving and reliable?”
You don’t have to be rich when you die but to die rich you have to be able to answer ‘Yes’ to that question.
Dr Tracie O’Keefe DCH, BSc, ND is an individual, couples and family therapist, an experienced Clinical Hypnotherapist, PACFA Registered Clinical Psychotherapist and Mental Health professional in Australia.
She consults with patients in her Sydney clinic, and can do remote internet consultations with you wherever you are in the world.
We will help you change your life fast. Give us a call now 0403 398 808.