Some people are engaged in behaviors that constantly sabotage their own lives and wellbeing. When things are going well in their life they say or do something that will bring that opportunity to a halt. It could be sabotaging a personal relationship, a job opportunity or crashing a business.
Is this you or someone you know?
It is important here not to confuse self-sabotaging personality traits with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In BPD a person believes that it is other people who are destroying their lives.
With self-sabotaging personality traits, the person knows that they are continually sabotaging their own life but just can’t stop themselves.
Self-sabotaging personality traits can be a problem with your impulse control.
You may have a habit of blurting out destructive communications that put other people offside and they simply don’t want to deal with you anymore. People find you prickly to deal with, negative, ungrateful, and lacking a sense of reality. They may even find you dangerous because they see you as unpredictable.
You may be someone who does not follow through on your commitments. Perhaps you have volunteered or committed to do something but then you just keep making excuses and it never gets done.
If other people are relying on you to complete those tasks, and you do not do them, they can begin classifying you in their minds as unreliable, uncaring and disrespectful. They may begin to exclude you from activities because your participation is seen as potentially sabotaging any project.
You may be playing the victim role but you are constantly putting yourself down and not blaming others.
This may occur due to a severely damaged ego as a result of early abuse or neglect and the voices going around in your head keep saying, ‘I don’t deserve this’, ‘It will all go wrong anyway’, I’m not smart enough’ or ‘something is bound to go wrong so why bother in the first place’.
You continually create negative thoughts for yourself and turn them into self-fulfilling prophecies.
You might not even know you are doing this. Other people see you doing it but because they find you exhausting to be around, they give up saying anything about what is happening.
So, what can you do to change things?
- You must own that you have a problem and that you need help to change the way you behave to get different results
- For any change of personality to take place, you need to be prepared to take risks and leave your comfort zone of negativity behind you
- It is important to find the right hypnotherapist that supports you changing the way your mind works through positive re-enforcement and does not just focus on your problems
- You need 100% commitment to make the change
- Be prepared to open yourself up to new ideas, ways of thinking, behaving and experiences
- When asked to carry out tasks on a regular basis by a hypnotherapist, you need to do them exactly as requested, as repetition strengthens new physical, neural pathways in your brain